Tag Archive: awareness


It is the stuff in between things that is important.
It is not the things themselves that truly matter.
Like the intangibility of love, hate, or other emotions that holds people together, or pushes them apart.
Like the substance that Dark Matter is made of; the stuff that strings the galaxies of the universe together, that the scientists are searching for.
Like the walls of a building define and contain useful space. The walls themselves, having less useful properties.
Like the lines on a football field, and the rules of the game, they are in themselves useless, but it is what they describe that matters.
Like the timing between the notes of a piece of music, rather than the notes themselves.

It is the understanding of the relationship between things that holds more value than the things themselves.
It is the supporting framework that places things and events in the right places to create the illusion of importance of material things. But it is our relationship to those things that we really need see and perceive.

To become truly wise, seek this understanding as all things are linked by the space between them, not the things themselves.
This is what is meant by ‘all things are one’.

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Just a few realisations I’ve been storing…

———–
A person should do that which pleases the heart,
not that which pleases the mind.

———–
Fear…
I realize now, that I have seen both the moment of creation of a learned fear, and the moment of realization of a primal fear. Sometimes these are rational and true. Sometimes they are irrational and simply believed to be real.
The pattern seems to revolve around the learned fears being mostly irrational, and the primal fears being real and rational.

———–
Men and Women are equal, but that’s not to say that they are the same.
They are opposing sides of a duality.

———–
A ha! Of course!
As a species we have never had to think about what we eat in terms of health, quite simply because unhealthy food didn’t exist until the last few decades when companies started pumping unnatural chemicals into their products.
What we are suffering from today is something that is brand new to evolution, and as much as, as an organism we are capable of quick adaptation to changes in our diet, that capability will have developed from millions of years of changes in the natural food supply of the local environment throughout the lifetimes of our genetic ancestors.
This, along with all the other things we’re doing to our environment, is another lit fuse in the ticking timebomb of the mass extinction event we are unwittingly creating.
I suppose that this little revelation means that I should no longer buy or consume unnatural food stuffs as I will then be guilty of perpetuating the impending disaster.

———–
A person cannot rightfully place blame on another for their actions, if their actions are due to a lack of knowledge.
However, once made aware of said lack of knowledge, it then becomes the responsibility of that person to lift themselves to a higher place, or rightfully face blame the next time their actions fall short of expectations.

———–
One cannot plan a journey of discovery,
just as one cannot plan a sculpture.
Sculptures, paintings, dance, music and other arts come from a process of creativity,
each step revealing its own self,
ready for the discovery of what the next step will become.
It is the same with the discovery of the self, each new step of awakening revealing the start of the next.
If you are working to a plan, you are unlikely to discover anything of worth.
Let go of plans, and choose goals instead, for they provide direction, but without a planned journey.

———–
The Universe is made of existence and non-existence,
interaction and change.
It cares not for the aspirations of man,
nor of his vanities or love of money.
The rules of the Universe provide the potential
for utterly limitless creation.
The Universe expresses itself through form, and radiation, and life,
and in one form of life it even looks back on itself and once said:
– “We are a way for the Cosmos to know itself.” – Carl Sagan

————
So many are so interested in how they look, they forget to pay attention to how they are.

———–
An artist can be so intent on capturing the moment on canvas, on film, in a poem… that they forget that the one chance to enjoy that moment is ‘now’!
(Realised when trying to capture a sunset in a photo – I was so busy trying to capture the moment, I nearly missed the moment itself!)

———–
I now know that cancer is not like a virus;
…something to be endured and overcome,
but is a battle to be fought and won.

———–
Before a certain age, children don’t see ‘do not pass’ barriers, they only see an obstacle in the way of what they want to get.
So the concept of ‘no go’ areas is a learned skill, or a conditioned skill.

———–
Try acting as the person that you want to become.
If you truly want to be that person, then act as if your life depends upon it… which is probably more true than you realise!

———–
I think my greatest fear is not that there isn’t or is an afterlife, but that I get to the end of this life and find that I missed out on the chances that were available.

———–
Like gravity is a universal force that is only noticed when two objects with mass react with each other (think of the cause of craters), and magnetism is a universal force that shows itself through reacting with ferrous materials (patterns in iron filings), is life a universal force that reveals itself through the collation of atoms and molecules to create organisms?

———–
I wonder… do animals feel ill when they are ill, or do they just feel different to their usual?
When we feel ill, do we feel ill because we’ve defined it as illness… and does that then make it worse through the psychosomatic phenomenon…?

———–
Ref something out of your control… if you keep banging your head against a brick wall, you’ll keep getting a sore head.
Work around it, not through it.
…or walk away from it!

———–
Another property of the universe: the more energy you store or apply to something, the faster it degrades.
Stress in the mind,
Stress in a piece of metal or plastic (perhaps stored in a stressed position…),
Stress of life on a wild animal as opposed to a domesticated one,
Stress of constant and repeated sunlight on dyed fabrics, plastic toys, skin…

———–
It’s interesting to note that those who are most interesting, are often quiet and ‘boring’ on the surface, but often those who are most interesting and fun on the surface, are often boring, with little to talk about underneath.
It’s as if all the bells and whistles are there to hide the fact that they have nothing else to offer. But those who have more, have no need to offer the bells and whistles.

Untied

Lying supine,
the notes drifting gently into my ears,
eyes closed,
my soul caressed, lifted, freed unnoticed from earthly encumbrance.
Wings expanding, flexing, testing,
catching the breeze of floating notes,
turning skyward…
Whoosh!
Upwards, outwards, everywherewards,
expanding, speeding, soaring, accelerating, twisting, turning,
pure expression of being glowing intensely,
trailing a wingtip through Jupiter’s gas clouds,
speeding a hairsbreadth above Saturn’s rings,
teardrops of blissful ecstasy falling onto the sun,
then out and up past the stars, eons flying by, in a second’s passing,
flying alongside icy comets on their way to fiery deaths,
their icy glittering trailing plumes, a witness to their brief existence.
The notes of musical magic resonating in perfect harmony with the tuning fork of my soul,
finally reaching pitch in the glass of my being,
shattering, exploding firework-like into a thousand million pieces of glittering stardust,
falling, returning, drifting down through a peppermint sky,
completely and utterly untied.

Forgetting remembrance

Yesterday was November 11th – Remembrance Day, and as always, I found myself in two minds when observing two minutes of silence in remembrance of our fallen, as I also observe so many around me for whom those two minutes pass unheeded.
I always have the thought of “Why the hell haven’t they put in the miniscule amount of effort required to make sure that they each observe Remembrance!
Remembrance always puts me in a sombre mood, but in recent years it also leaves me with a smile.

What’s the smile for?
Well, for the very fact that those who do not make the EFFORT to observe the two minutes of silence, live in a world where they can do this!
They live in a world where the sacrifices made by those who died in the hope that our futures would be safe and free (whatever that really means today…!?), has become a real future… a future where they CAN be forgotten.

I think that if I had fought and died, I would have been happy that my children’s children and their grand-children could forget about my sacrifice if they were living in a world better than, for example, the one the Third Reich was trying to generate.
It would mean that my death had not been in vain.

Perhaps the forgetting to remember is actually an indication of a good thing… but I, for one, shall never forget.

I’m changing…

Today’s realisation…

Expression of the self cannot be done any more succinctly as a human, than by expressing one’s thoughts, beliefs, and experiences; …ultimately, one’s personal understanding of how life is; than through poems, music and movement.
There is no greater expression of what it is to be human than through allowing the absorption of the self into these moments of creation and performance.
This is what we are…

There are some pieces of music that I can’t listen to in the company of others, and events I cannot watch; in fact anything where a person pours heart and soul into that moment, as I can be so profoundly affected by them, that I’m quickly reduced to an emotional wreck! …it becomes embarrassing… but it feels, oh so good!

But what is it in me that does this??

I can only liken it to a form of empathy in some cases, and in others it seems that there is a resonance, like a tuning fork, that harmonises with my core, spirit, or soul.
What I find really interesting is that this has only occurred since I became more spiritual… so from around 10 years ago…. and it’s still growing!
It also happens more and more at times when I witness a person performing something well; something that is hugely important to themselves… like an athlete reaching the Olympic podium, or a shy musician being recognised for the first time… and even now whilst I type this and am thinking of various examples!

Whatever it is that’s changing, it is changing because I am constantly chasing that feeling of being in tune with those things that really matter to me.
Whatever it is, I like it!

Between now and your death, or between now and the time where you can no longer do the things that enhance your enjoyment of life; what are you going to do with your time?
Do you really want to continue sitting at that desk for all your future working years punching away at the keyboard?
…or surfing the internet for nothing in particular in the evenings… just filling time?
…or going to the gym to keep fit… but without definable purpose or reason… just to fit in?
Perhaps you are faintly aware of your life years, months , weeks, minutes and seconds gradually ticking away from you, never to return. Each one you only get once… or as Dan Millman wrote ‘There are no ordinary moments.’ …each second, and the events within are special. They occur only once!
Do you feel trapped by your circumstances?  …are you what is meant by Erwan Le Corre’s ‘Zoo humans’?

Recently, here in Bristol, UK, was a beautiful spring day. I went out at dinnertime and so nearly didn’t go back into the office…
It was moments like that eighteen months ago that made me awaken to the fact that I am in the wrong job; that I must change career.
Those changes are now well underway, but I am still painfully aware of my life seconds slipping away. I might be getting paid for my time, but money can never pay for the time passed, it is only a token gesture.

I believe a person, any person, YOU! – should aim towards those things that draw your attention; those things that interests you; that which makes you smile; that which makes you feel good inside; the events of life that make you go ‘Wowww!’ with eyes wide, or make you cry with joy, or pleasure, or compassion, or empathy… it is those indicators that you should be looking for, as when they occur, that is the universe telling you what you should be doing with your time here on Earth… some will say that it is God talking to you… others will use other explanations, but all will agree that it is that feeling that is telling you what you were made for!
…just as a tuning fork will start to ring when the same pitch of sound is placed near it… your spirit will start to resonate when you are near those things that are in tune with you. It is that attraction to things that shows you the starting point of your intended path of life – it literally feels right!

So sit for a while, think about what it is that makes you feel this way.
Write down those events that you have enjoyed and wished they would never end… a bit like a bucket list! (…you do have one of those don’t you…? I hope so…)
Try and find the common denominator within these times.
Now comes the hard bit… now you need to look to find a role in life that would repeatedly give you that feeling again!

Now, go sit and think! …good luck.

“Another week done!” said my boss on my way out the door.
“Yep, another week of my life gone.” said I.
“Aww, don’t look at it that way.” he said.
‘Why not? That’s what it is.‘ I thought, but said “Yeah, but it’s just the way you choose to use it…”
“That’s it!” he said… implying ‘That’s a better attitude!’

Couldn’t help but think that he is using the culturally accepted way of justifying a ‘waste’ of life time. [sic]

Each hour of our lives belongs to us and only us. How we choose to use those hours is a matter of choice.
It may not be a direct choice, i.e. you may have previously chosen to commit to a mortgage, and in turn you committing yourself to having to pay for it… which, for most of us, means working. However, it is still a choice!

To my mind, I choose to work for the amount of hours needed to pay the mortgage and bills… and to pay for future dreams!
I do NOT subscribe to the idea of the accumulation of money as being a goal worth substituting my life hours to.
Each hour that passes will never pass again… what I’m doing in those hours better be bloody worth it!

The Universe is made of existence and non-existence,
interaction and change.
It cares not for the aspirations of man,
nor of his vanities, nor love of money.

The rules of the Universe provide the potential for utterly limitless creation…
this is the limitless potential of possibility!

The Universe expresses itself through form, radiation, life and constant change,
…and in one form of life, it even has the ability to look back on itself,
and that form once said:
Life is the means by which the universe understands itself.” – Brian Cox

I was once a part of a Martial Arts school that sold itself as the ‘Original and True Way’.
When I started with this system I had already spent four years within the arena of Traditional Karate under the tutelage of Sensei Nick Moller of Shoto Ryu. Eventually within Shoto Ryu, I had learned enough to realise that it didn’t suit me and I needed to look elsewhere. (It is worth saying at this point, that I don’t feel that there was anything wrong with Sensei Moller or his methods; simply that I was looking for something a little different.)

Leaving Shoto Ryu I recalled a flyer I had picked up and held onto from somewhere years earlier. It said that they practiced Karate, Street Defence, Japanese Sword, Oriental Weapons, and intriguingly, something they called Zen Philosophy.

Throughout the following seven years, I learned a lot about the world of Martial Arts and their weapons; an unorthodox version of eastern philosophy… and in the last week, then 12 months after leaving, I learned a lot about me!
The main part of the school that had me hooked, was the philosophy. It was an introduction to another way of looking at life and its myriad events, and in many ways is what spawned my book, then this blog.
However, in working hard trying to understand the lessons given, and the constant changes that were made (it was said once ‘The only certainties here, are the uncertainties!) I was unaware of the undercurrent of change that was breaking down what used to be a fantastic ethos that had for two decades been the engine that powered the school and its teachings.
When I suddenly became aware of this, it was like the rug being pulled out from under me. And it hurt. For four months. And continued to play on my mind daily for another eight months after that. It was two years before I could laugh about it…

As a lower grade you tend to look up at the Black Belts hoping that one day you will be able to lift yourself to their level and stand amongst them; it becomes a dream and a goal to become one of the ‘elite’ of the club or system.
With years of hard work and focus, one day your Sensei says that you are ready for your Black Belt grading… and perhaps you feel ready, although many never do!
The day comes and you stand before those in the association, in front of those not as far along the path as yourself, and alongside those who have mirrored your efforts, and you theirs, and will attempt their toughest test with you.
Most importantly, you stand in front of your Sensei desperate to do them proud, and your self [sic]. The self can be the harshest critic of all. Even in passing the grading, it will still stand aside and say ‘… you forgot this, you didn’t do that, you messed up there, you could have done better…

With any Martial Arts system worth its salt, you will be pushed for hours far beyond any previous perception you may have had of your limits of physical and mental endurance. No matter what training you’ve put in, you will reach the stage of ‘I can’t do this! How the hell am I supposed to keep going…?!’ …but you will find that you can… and you will keep going.

Now that you have ‘arrived’, and you stand proudly within the ranks of the Black Belts of a system, you give silent approval to those who stand behind you, of the methods, ethos, and philosophies of the school and the Sensei.
If the school you are in teaches you total obedience to the whims of its Master, then you are in fact in danger of losing your own identity, and I would suggest that you in turn, when reaching Black Belt, are also now guilty of perpetuating the damage to those below you.

The responsibility of being a Black Belt within the arena of Martial Arts, where there is a high proportion of groups that can be accurately described as ‘cults’ is not something that should be taken lightly.
I know.
I’ve been there. When I realised what I was doing, I had to leave.

The responsibility is on doing the right thing, no matter how much it hurts.
And that responsibility is on your shoulders the day you put on your black belt.
The status awarded is something to be treated with the greatest of respect.

It is now four years on, and I now stand with a new group of Black Belts, and with the lessons learned in my past, I can proudly say that I’ve done it right this time… that they do it right.

Osu.

The rate of the passing of time is something that we decide for ourselves.
How we choose to perceive the passing of time is entirely dependant upon the way we choose to view the events of the moment.
A child waiting for a bus will entertain themself my spinning around, singing songs, watching raindrops run down the bus shelter… generally just finding a way to enjoy themselves.
Suddenly the bus is there, and that moment finishes and the next begins.
Meanwhile, their parents are simply standing there waiting for the bus. Afraid to be like the child and have fun with the simple things… because of what others might think.
The passing of time goes so much slower for them. They are not involved in the moment, they are only waiting for the bus.
The child climbs on the bus and always wants to go on the upper deck… it’s more exciting! They see things from a new vantage point, a new way of seeing things that they are already used to.
The parent moans “Oh, do we have to? We’re only going to have to walk down the steps again…?”
They are blind to the fun that can be had.

How do we stop this from happening to us?
We must try every moment of every day to find that which is amusing, entrancing, bewitching, unusual, entertaining, heart-string tugging… anything at all that make you smile, or cry with joy, or stare open-mouthed in wonder…
As I type I am travelling on a train through the rain. I find it amusing how the stretched raindrops on the window look like little tadpoles wriggling horizontally back along the train, then suddenly a patch of blue sky shows through the dull grey low clouds. Life at over 100 miles per hour is different to what I usually experience. The speed of movement gives a greater appreciation of depth within the layers of cloud, it creates the wriggling tadpole raindrops. Oh! I just saw a radio telescope I’ve never seen before, just north of Cheltenham… It’s pointing straight up. I wonder what they’re looking at…

This is where the wonder of the internet comes in. It allows me to quickly find out about something new; a little extra knowledge enriches my life further.
Surely this is what the internet should be for… not for filling time with nothing better to do, but for enriching lives with knowledge and understanding.

Don’t just look at things, look a little more closely, see what’s different to what you usually see, use the internet to find out more, build a greater knowledge and understanding of the world around you… enrich your life any way you can… build a greater experience of living… never grow old and bored… there is fun to be had everywhere!