Tag Archive: becoming


Lying supine,
the notes drifting gently into my ears,
eyes closed,
my soul caressed, lifted, freed unnoticed from earthly encumbrance.
Wings expanding, flexing, testing,
catching the breeze of floating notes,
turning skyward…
Upwards, outwards, everywherewards,
expanding, speeding, soaring, accelerating, twisting, turning,
pure expression of being glowing intensely,
trailing a wingtip through Jupiter’s gas clouds,
speeding a hairsbreadth above Saturn’s rings,
teardrops of blissful ecstasy falling onto the sun,
then out and up past the stars, eons flying by, in a second’s passing,
flying alongside icy comets on their way to fiery deaths,
their icy glittering trailing plumes, a witness to their brief existence.
The notes of musical magic resonating in perfect harmony with the tuning fork of my soul,
finally reaching pitch in the glass of my being,
shattering, exploding firework-like into a thousand million pieces of glittering stardust,
falling, returning, drifting down through a peppermint sky,
completely and utterly untied.


There is an idea, accepted by some, that says that we are each created for a purpose.

Personally, I entertain a version of this idea in that we are not so much created for a purpose, but that we each have an ideal position / environment / social position (or something of this sort…) that we are each individually best suited to. Note: not created!
(See my version of the Buddhist’s ‘Original Face’.)

On the way to work this morning, I suddenly realised something that supports this idea of mine.
I realised that in looking back on some questions I remember asking my Dad as a child, the questions were coming from the same place as they do today; 30 years later.
They were / are a reflection of a certain type of enquiring mind, but one that as a child was nowhere near finding itself (definition: learning of its own nature).
Over recent years, I have, most definitely, discovered a lot about me; about who I am, and what makes me tick.
I have learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses, and of how my history has influenced who I am today.
And now, I have just realised that even in following this long path of self-discovery, it is only now that I am discovering that I am still the same person I was when I was asking my Dad certain types of questions all those years ago.

So, I might ask myself:   “What has changed in that time?
In answer:   “Not a lot!

But now it seems that the inevitable direction my life was to take, was pre-determined by my make-up; by my core ‘harmonies’ that make me who I am. Like a graphic equalizer running on 1 million channels, its default position was set at the point at which I became me; at the point where I changed from being a little ball of flesh to being a growing human being.
(I wonder… was that before or after the brain started to develop in the womb?)

Granted, I know a lot more. I am able to look after myself in physical, emotional, financial and professional terms.
But my nature hasn’t changed one bit.
I am what I am.
I am only a more mature version today.

The process of self-discovery,
at first directs you away.
In the years that follow, of re-covery,
you will re-find your self one day.

For those who wish to become spiritually advanced, I would advocate that a conscious awareness of one’s nature is what should be sought, then when ready, enhanced (or perhaps supressed…).

The question to ask could be:
What is it that I enjoy, that without obvious reason resonates with my way of being?

Along the journey, the results of one’s nurture and the way in which it is imbued into your everyday thoughts and activities, should also be sought to understand when the things you are doing, or thinking, etc, are not a result of your inherent nature.

The question to ask here might be:
What is it I do or think that is a copy of my parents way of thought, or of those I’ve respected in the past?

My view:
A person’s nature is their nature, and there is nothing that they can do to change it. No more than an apple tree can become … erm… an umbrella… no matter how much it wishes to be.

Humans have a tendancy to believe the irrational, and as result many of us tend to believe that we, or others, can change, that we can become a different person to what we are today.
Yes, changes do occur and they can be significant enough that the changes can be observed by others, but what is really changing is the way that that person views the world around them, and interacts and reacts with it.
Each person’s default view is the combined result of their upbringing, their personal experiences, the role models they follow(ed), etc
Those things that are on a similar ‘frequency’ to their inherent nature; they like… those things that make sense to them.
Those that are at odds with their inherent nature, they cannot tolerate, or simply don’t understand.

I see the combined effect of nature and nurture as a pair of graphic equalisers.
One is set at your creation (another term used in the Buddhist world is ‘Original Face’), the other is given a pre-set position by the effects of life.

The first cannot be changed: it is the template, or blueprint to which you were ‘made’.
This pre-set is the one that can be changed; yes, it’s still difficult, as the pattern is a habitual pattern that reflects each individual’s understanding of how to survive, whether it be actual survival, or a lower level of survival skills such as social bonding, professional capability, etc.
It is a learned condition.

By moving the pattern, the owner is fighting against their survival instinct! Hence the difficulty.

However, I strongly believe that a person who discovers something about themself that they like, can slowly adjust the graphic equalizer of life’s experiences so that a certain aspect is enhanced, or if it is something of a negative nature that they wish to change, that aspect can be supressed. On occaision it can be a step change that is immediately noticable.

Another part of all this is that the effect of our pre-set condition can restrict us from doing anything out of the ordinary (our ordinary).

For example: I always wear black socks, but last night in the shops I thought “Ooo look at those Spongebob Squarepants socks!” So I bought them and I’m wearing them today.
I realise now that in the past I would have shied away from that purchase because I wouldn’t want the inevitable comments and laughs from others (I’ve never liked being the centre of attention), but now I find that my own self growth is enabling me to start to display my true nature.
Yeah, I know, I know, it’s just a pair of socks. But for me, what this action represents, is that there’s a small amount of madness that I am now prepared to show (I think there’s a lot more beneath as well !) which means I am slowly revealing the person that I truely am, rather than hiding beneath the ‘safe’ layers of what I know through years of ‘practice’ is socially acceptable / normal.

Become everything that you can become,
but in the process of self-discovery and spiritual growth,
make sure that you are not simply being what others’ say you should be.