Tag Archive: enlightenment


Just a few realisations I’ve been storing…

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A person should do that which pleases the heart,
not that which pleases the mind.

———–
Fear…
I realize now, that I have seen both the moment of creation of a learned fear, and the moment of realization of a primal fear. Sometimes these are rational and true. Sometimes they are irrational and simply believed to be real.
The pattern seems to revolve around the learned fears being mostly irrational, and the primal fears being real and rational.

———–
Men and Women are equal, but that’s not to say that they are the same.
They are opposing sides of a duality.

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A ha! Of course!
As a species we have never had to think about what we eat in terms of health, quite simply because unhealthy food didn’t exist until the last few decades when companies started pumping unnatural chemicals into their products.
What we are suffering from today is something that is brand new to evolution, and as much as, as an organism we are capable of quick adaptation to changes in our diet, that capability will have developed from millions of years of changes in the natural food supply of the local environment throughout the lifetimes of our genetic ancestors.
This, along with all the other things we’re doing to our environment, is another lit fuse in the ticking timebomb of the mass extinction event we are unwittingly creating.
I suppose that this little revelation means that I should no longer buy or consume unnatural food stuffs as I will then be guilty of perpetuating the impending disaster.

———–
A person cannot rightfully place blame on another for their actions, if their actions are due to a lack of knowledge.
However, once made aware of said lack of knowledge, it then becomes the responsibility of that person to lift themselves to a higher place, or rightfully face blame the next time their actions fall short of expectations.

———–
One cannot plan a journey of discovery,
just as one cannot plan a sculpture.
Sculptures, paintings, dance, music and other arts come from a process of creativity,
each step revealing its own self,
ready for the discovery of what the next step will become.
It is the same with the discovery of the self, each new step of awakening revealing the start of the next.
If you are working to a plan, you are unlikely to discover anything of worth.
Let go of plans, and choose goals instead, for they provide direction, but without a planned journey.

———–
The Universe is made of existence and non-existence,
interaction and change.
It cares not for the aspirations of man,
nor of his vanities or love of money.
The rules of the Universe provide the potential
for utterly limitless creation.
The Universe expresses itself through form, and radiation, and life,
and in one form of life it even looks back on itself and once said:
– “We are a way for the Cosmos to know itself.” – Carl Sagan

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So many are so interested in how they look, they forget to pay attention to how they are.

———–
An artist can be so intent on capturing the moment on canvas, on film, in a poem… that they forget that the one chance to enjoy that moment is ‘now’!
(Realised when trying to capture a sunset in a photo – I was so busy trying to capture the moment, I nearly missed the moment itself!)

———–
I now know that cancer is not like a virus;
…something to be endured and overcome,
but is a battle to be fought and won.

———–
Before a certain age, children don’t see ‘do not pass’ barriers, they only see an obstacle in the way of what they want to get.
So the concept of ‘no go’ areas is a learned skill, or a conditioned skill.

———–
Try acting as the person that you want to become.
If you truly want to be that person, then act as if your life depends upon it… which is probably more true than you realise!

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I think my greatest fear is not that there isn’t or is an afterlife, but that I get to the end of this life and find that I missed out on the chances that were available.

———–
Like gravity is a universal force that is only noticed when two objects with mass react with each other (think of the cause of craters), and magnetism is a universal force that shows itself through reacting with ferrous materials (patterns in iron filings), is life a universal force that reveals itself through the collation of atoms and molecules to create organisms?

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I wonder… do animals feel ill when they are ill, or do they just feel different to their usual?
When we feel ill, do we feel ill because we’ve defined it as illness… and does that then make it worse through the psychosomatic phenomenon…?

———–
Ref something out of your control… if you keep banging your head against a brick wall, you’ll keep getting a sore head.
Work around it, not through it.
…or walk away from it!

———–
Another property of the universe: the more energy you store or apply to something, the faster it degrades.
Stress in the mind,
Stress in a piece of metal or plastic (perhaps stored in a stressed position…),
Stress of life on a wild animal as opposed to a domesticated one,
Stress of constant and repeated sunlight on dyed fabrics, plastic toys, skin…

———–
It’s interesting to note that those who are most interesting, are often quiet and ‘boring’ on the surface, but often those who are most interesting and fun on the surface, are often boring, with little to talk about underneath.
It’s as if all the bells and whistles are there to hide the fact that they have nothing else to offer. But those who have more, have no need to offer the bells and whistles.

Within the last couple of weeks, I have discovered something that I thought was true, but now I have experienced it, I know it to be true.
Six months ago I was diagnosed as having testicular cancer. Thankfully this was caught early and after having the offending anatomical item removed and analysed , I was told that I was in the 5% to 10% bracket of not having to do anything else.
Great news!
However, this was not to be true. Four months later I got the call that a CT scan showed that three lymph nodes in typical positions for the spread of this cancer were a little enlarged and I was going to have to go through a course of chemotherapy.

After following the sad demise of a friend who suffered from a far more aggressive form of cancer (Cholangiocarcinoma), and her experience of chemotherapy, I was more than a little anxious as to how bad this experience was going to be.
The course I was put on was a nine week course of three lots of three week cycles, back to back, with the chemotherapy drugs known as BEP. The first five days of each three week cycle was as an in-patient, then on day’s nine and sixteen I would go in for a top-up of one of the chemo drugs in particular.
After the first cycle I went home and felt a little under the weather, but to be honest it wasn’t anything more than the feeling of contracting a heavy cold for a few days. I was still able to function and think and do all the usual day-to-day tasks, just without the energy to do any physical activity.
Not too bad.
The second cycle was a little heavier, and so when I came home on day five I went straight to bed with a low level of energy, then was pretty incapable of anything useful for a couple of days after that. By day nine I was feeling a lot more alive and able to do most things slowly.

However, the ‘something I discovered’ that I speak of in the first line was learned after coming out of the third cycle (and I’m still in it at the moment – I’m typing this at day ten).
Until last night – day nine – my energy level has been so low that even sitting up was an immense effort. To walk would require something to hold onto every ten metres or so. Even just standing was so exhausting I couldn’t do it for any longer than a couple of minutes.
For a person who is used to leading an active life, I found this complete physical inability emotionally and spiritually draining. Being dragged down so low and not being able to do anything was quite possibly the worst experience of my life. It was like the essence of me had been removed… it was quite literally draining my life–force from me.

…and this is where the lesson was learned…

Something so important to my life… my feeling of purpose… my method of achieving self-worth and accomplishment… the ability to be physically active… having had it so completely removed allowed me to see that that ability is the very essence of what makes my life worth living. The loss of it is something that I NEVER want to experience again.

If life is most profoundly experienced by doing that which makes the spirit soar,
then death is to have that ability removed from ones being, and mere existence is all that is left.

For the rest of my life I vow to be active to whatever degree my body allows… because if I am not, then I am already dead!

Untied

Lying supine,
the notes drifting gently into my ears,
eyes closed,
my soul caressed, lifted, freed unnoticed from earthly encumbrance.
Wings expanding, flexing, testing,
catching the breeze of floating notes,
turning skyward…
Whoosh!
Upwards, outwards, everywherewards,
expanding, speeding, soaring, accelerating, twisting, turning,
pure expression of being glowing intensely,
trailing a wingtip through Jupiter’s gas clouds,
speeding a hairsbreadth above Saturn’s rings,
teardrops of blissful ecstasy falling onto the sun,
then out and up past the stars, eons flying by, in a second’s passing,
flying alongside icy comets on their way to fiery deaths,
their icy glittering trailing plumes, a witness to their brief existence.
The notes of musical magic resonating in perfect harmony with the tuning fork of my soul,
finally reaching pitch in the glass of my being,
shattering, exploding firework-like into a thousand million pieces of glittering stardust,
falling, returning, drifting down through a peppermint sky,
completely and utterly untied.

Those who would laugh at you, ridicule your attempts to show them something of worth, mock you for the cheap trick of getting a laugh themselves; do they have something to offer that is greater?

If not, then don’t take their words to heart, they are merely jealous of your greater ability (…though they probably don’t realise it) and their jibes can be ignored, because if all they have to offer is derision without substance, then they have nothing to offer at all.

Be confidant with your gifts and skills.

Go forth and express your being; your self, show the world who and what you are!

Traveling daily on spinning wheels of freedom,
I pass so many faces in their steel boxes,
all with the same expression of spiritual deadness
…but making me feel all the more alive!
I smile inside… not at their loss,
but because I am not them.
My mind, coming from another place,
my soul’s energy buzzing, singing, responding to the beauty of life all around,
seeing and feeling Mother Nature,
in the form of rain and wind, sunlight and smells,
bearing witness to her wrapping herself around those steel boxes,
each of them a barricade to her,
each of them individually trapping a small part of the universe,
making it false,
holding it still, unchanging, stagnating,
changing nothing, creating nothing, feeding nothing,
and with no spirit being fed,
the spirit behind those faces lies dead.

In relation to yesterday’s post (see here), there is another point that I choose to believe is true (I say ‘choose’ quite simply because there is no way of proving it true, but my observations and experiences suggest to me that it is true…).
My friend of the previous post, and I used to train together as teenagers as part of the local Track and Field team. Some of the winter training was pretty tough, well certainly for the age we were at, and I have distinct memories of the expression on her face when she was gritting her teeth, fighting hard against fatigue and the effects of lactic acid flooding the muscles… showing way back then the characteristics that are helping her today.

Since those days, I have continued to train in various disciplines, but for the last 16 years it has been in traditional Martial Arts.
Being constantly active, and being forever surrounded by the same type of people, I have seen some of them grow old, but never really suffer much from illness, and those few that have, seem to have the presence of mind to attack their illness like it is just another hard training session; i.e. something to grit your teeth against; something to fight against, and most importantly, something to overcome!

Similarly, it seems that my distant friend has also continued to train in one way or another over the years, and before she was diagnosed with cancer, she was training hard in Crossfit, and taking part in daft events like Tough Mudder’s.

In the light of what she is going through, but more importantly, how she is handling it, it further reinforces my belief that those who take part in tough physical training; tough enough that it also becomes mental training through having to develop the will to overcome the body’s desire to rest; will be those who are best equipped to deal with the worst that life has to throw at them.

I believe that something grows within those who regularly fight the little battles by choice, something that enables them to find the will-power to overcome the bigger battles likely to come later in life.

So… my advice to those of you who enjoy sitting back and watching the soaps on TV a lot more often than stepping up and staying active, is quite simply – you need to make a decision as to whether you would regret the easy, fun life when a bigger, unavoidable battle comes along.

Read this [The old man in me], and think hard, then make your chosen future happen!

There is a friend of mine (not yet 40 years old) that is currently fighting the battle of her life against a rare and aggressive form of cancer.
In doing so, she is proving to be one of life’s special people in that she has instinctively turned to face it head on and obviously has no intention of backing down!

I haven’t seen her for over 20 years, but through the wonders of Facebook, have fairly recently got back in contact… even though she is now the other side of the world!
In her own inimitable fashion, she feeds her Facebook friends with regular updates on her condition and progress, and in doing so has revealed her true colours… and incredible colours they are!
As much as it was nice to get back in contact with her, I’m am now so glad that I did as she is proving to be the sort of person I admire the most – she has what I consider to be a warrior nature – a willingness to fight for what is right, with an unremitting strength of spirit that simply doesn’t know how to give up! – and I now feel honoured to know her.

So many of her friends regularly reply to her updates by saying how amazing she is, how inspirational, and what a fantastic attitude she has toward beating the illness.
One of her replies was to say thanks for the comments, but really she’s just getting on with it, that there’s nothing special about her, and that anyone would be able to do it.

But that’s just it, isn’t it.
She is the only one in the wrong position to see what’s see’s doing. She is the only one inside the cocoon of the illness, all others are outside looking in. I don’t think she realises what this illness has brought out in her. Inversely to the debilitating effect of the cancer and the treatments, it has made her shine so brightly that her positivity is almost blinding. It is truly awe-inspiring.
If she was right that anyone could do it, then people wouldn’t react in less positive ways than she is, people wouldn’t give up, everyone would have that ability to soldier on regardless… but her friends are seeing something different to the norm, they are seeing something greater… and that, of course, is what they are astounded by.
She has unwittingly become a leader to her friends, a leader by example, an inspiring person, and one that makes the greatest of leaders.

At the risk of losing the last remnants of my manliness, I’ll admit to being in tears as I type this, but not through sadness of her suffering, emotional weakness of my own, or any other such anti-masculine reason, but through some kind of resonance I feel that makes me smile and feel so alive and good when I encounter people like this lady, and hear of their experiences that to me, epitomise the very essence of life.

No matter what;, today is a good day… some other days may be even better, but rain or shine, if I’m breathing, then every day is a good day!

I hope that if I ever have to fight a big battle that could cost me my life, that I’ll be able to show the same strength of character as my friend… and I hope I can be even partially as inspirational as her.

“Another week done!” said my boss on my way out the door.
“Yep, another week of my life gone.” said I.
“Aww, don’t look at it that way.” he said.
‘Why not? That’s what it is.‘ I thought, but said “Yeah, but it’s just the way you choose to use it…”
“That’s it!” he said… implying ‘That’s a better attitude!’

Couldn’t help but think that he is using the culturally accepted way of justifying a ‘waste’ of life time. [sic]

Each hour of our lives belongs to us and only us. How we choose to use those hours is a matter of choice.
It may not be a direct choice, i.e. you may have previously chosen to commit to a mortgage, and in turn you committing yourself to having to pay for it… which, for most of us, means working. However, it is still a choice!

To my mind, I choose to work for the amount of hours needed to pay the mortgage and bills… and to pay for future dreams!
I do NOT subscribe to the idea of the accumulation of money as being a goal worth substituting my life hours to.
Each hour that passes will never pass again… what I’m doing in those hours better be bloody worth it!

It is the stuff in between things that is important; the stuff that truly matters.
Not the things in the middle, bounded and described by the space around them.
Like the substance that Dark Matter is made of; the stuff that strings the galaxies of the universe together, and keeps the stars circling forever,
…the essence of which the scientists are searching for.
Like the way that the walls of a building define and contain useful space. The walls themselves, having less useful properties.
Like the lines on a football field, and the rules of the game, they are in themselves useless, but it is what they describe that matters.
Like the timing between the notes in a piece of music, rather than the notes themselves.
Like the intangibility of love, and hate, and the other emotions; the stuff that holds people together, or pushes them apart.

It is the understanding of the relationship between things that holds more value than the things themselves.
It is here that the supporting framework is found; the framework that places things and events in the right places, and creates the illusion of the importance of material things.
But it is our relationship to those things that we really need see and perceive… the gap between us and it.

To become truly wise, one should seek this understanding, as all things are linked by the space between them, not the things themselves.
This is what is meant by ‘all things are one’.

The Universe is made of existence and non-existence,
interaction and change.
It cares not for the aspirations of man,
nor of his vanities, nor love of money.

The rules of the Universe provide the potential for utterly limitless creation…
this is the limitless potential of possibility!

The Universe expresses itself through form, radiation, life and constant change,
…and in one form of life, it even has the ability to look back on itself,
and that form once said:
Life is the means by which the universe understands itself.” – Brian Cox