Tag Archive: soul


Lying supine,
the notes drifting gently into my ears,
eyes closed,
my soul caressed, lifted, freed unnoticed from earthly encumbrance.
Wings expanding, flexing, testing,
catching the breeze of floating notes,
turning skyward…
Upwards, outwards, everywherewards,
expanding, speeding, soaring, accelerating, twisting, turning,
pure expression of being glowing intensely,
trailing a wingtip through Jupiter’s gas clouds,
speeding a hairsbreadth above Saturn’s rings,
teardrops of blissful ecstasy falling onto the sun,
then out and up past the stars, eons flying by, in a second’s passing,
flying alongside icy comets on their way to fiery deaths,
their icy glittering trailing plumes, a witness to their brief existence.
The notes of musical magic resonating in perfect harmony with the tuning fork of my soul,
finally reaching pitch in the glass of my being,
shattering, exploding firework-like into a thousand million pieces of glittering stardust,
falling, returning, drifting down through a peppermint sky,
completely and utterly untied.


Traveling daily on spinning wheels of freedom,
I pass so many faces in their steel boxes,
all with the same expression of spiritual deadness
…but making me feel all the more alive!
I smile inside… not at their loss,
but because I am not them.
My mind, coming from another place,
my soul’s energy buzzing, singing, responding to the beauty of life all around,
seeing and feeling Mother Nature,
in the form of rain and wind, sunlight and smells,
bearing witness to her wrapping herself around those steel boxes,
each of them a barricade to her,
each of them individually trapping a small part of the universe,
making it false,
holding it still, unchanging, stagnating,
changing nothing, creating nothing, feeding nothing,
and with no spirit being fed,
the spirit behind those faces lies dead.

I’m changing…

Today’s realisation…

Expression of the self cannot be done any more succinctly as a human, than by expressing one’s thoughts, beliefs, and experiences; …ultimately, one’s personal understanding of how life is; than through poems, music and movement.
There is no greater expression of what it is to be human than through allowing the absorption of the self into these moments of creation and performance.
This is what we are…

There are some pieces of music that I can’t listen to in the company of others, and events I cannot watch; in fact anything where a person pours heart and soul into that moment, as I can be so profoundly affected by them, that I’m quickly reduced to an emotional wreck! …it becomes embarrassing… but it feels, oh so good!

But what is it in me that does this??

I can only liken it to a form of empathy in some cases, and in others it seems that there is a resonance, like a tuning fork, that harmonises with my core, spirit, or soul.
What I find really interesting is that this has only occurred since I became more spiritual… so from around 10 years ago…. and it’s still growing!
It also happens more and more at times when I witness a person performing something well; something that is hugely important to themselves… like an athlete reaching the Olympic podium, or a shy musician being recognised for the first time… and even now whilst I type this and am thinking of various examples!

Whatever it is that’s changing, it is changing because I am constantly chasing that feeling of being in tune with those things that really matter to me.
Whatever it is, I like it!

A long time ago (at least a decade) I learned of the idea of listening to your intuition in order to let it guide you in times of stress.
Ever since then I have tried; first to find this ‘voice’, then to learn how to hear it when it is so much quieter than the voice of the mind, then to learn how to trust it.
This is the stage that I am currently at… and I think the next, and possibly last stage, is to follow it as a primary source of internal guidence.

Yesterday morning I was doing some circuit training with my fellow Karate nutters, and whilst my body was getting tired, but there was still hard work to do, and my body-mind was shouting loudly at me to STOP, I became aware that in the background this little voice that I’ve learned to trust, but am still learning to hear, was saying ‘You can still do more. You can ignore that other voice. It’ll be alright.
What I realised yesterday morning, is that the voice of intuition cannot lie!
It cannot tell you something that is not true, as it relays information from the body-mind to the conscious mind that is a true indication of your reality. It is only your conscious mind that screws things up by putting some wierd perception or spin on the facts presented.
In other words, if it says that you can do more, then you can! Obviously, this also means that if it says ‘It’s time to stop!’, then you should especially listen then! (How many of us have continued working hard and got injured when we know in hindsight that we should have stopped…? I have… too often…)
It doesn’t matter what anything else says, whether that be your own internal dialogue, or another person saying ‘You’ve done enough, you can stop now.

Your reality can ONLY be experienced by you. But your reality can be SO MUCH MORE if you learn to trust in your voice of intuition.

Relationships #2

In ‘Relationships #1’ I spoke of the way in which a relationship could be viewed  as a living creature between two people, one that needs feeding, attention and TLC by both parties, or it dies a death.
I have also realised that there is another type of relationship that we have with all other things in our universes – sometimes one sided, and at other times two sided and more like the other I’ve preivously described.

This other kind of relationship is one that  many of us, perhaps most, are unaware of, but to become aware of it is to become more intertwined in your local universe, and more in harmony with those things that you willingly, or unknowingly invite into your life.

For example, lets imagine a hot summer’s day. You’re at work in an office, but are yearning to get outside to enjoy the weather. At dinnertime you take a walk to a shady glade in a nearby park and sit down in the shade of a tree.
How many one-sided relationships are happening all at once?
1)   You have a relationship with a hot summer’s day – it makes you feel good, but asks for nothing in return except for appreciation.
2)   You have a relationship with park / glade  – you go there because on a day like this being within it brings a sense of peace, or holiday, or a return to nature.
3)   You have a relationship with a tree – the tree means nothing to you except on a day like this when you can enjoy it’s ability to shade you from the harshness of the sun’s rays, and only adds to the experience.
4)   Perhaps you also have a relationship with the comings and goings of the people in that park, but one that they are unaware of. You find it relaxing to sit and simply observe the mothers with their children in the play area, the dogs chasing the stick thrown by their owner, the lunchtime runners, etc.

Now, you could just sit there waiting for the time to go back to the office, or you could sit there and truely enjoy the experience of quiet observation of all those things above, or the Ladybird that lands on your arm, or the Sparrows that chirp at each other trying to get the bread that you’ve thrown.

At all times it is possible to become one with the moment, to allow yourself to forget yourself, to harmonise with the immediate world around you, and to refresh your spirit ready for the next onslaught of ‘civilisation’.

The pond affect

Cultural upheaval, like the breakdown of Yugoslavia and similar, causes humans to create ‘turbulence’ that manifests itself as civil and political unrest. And this will continue until a new balance of power is found.

On reflection, this appears to be the natural response that is also witnessed as when removing a rock from the bottom of a still pond.
The action of removing the rock creates disturbance in the immediate vicinity. The surrounding silt wells up in clouds, then slowly dissipates over an area far wider than the rock originally took up, thus affecting much more than only the space it had occupied.
This disruption causes territorial disputes in both animals and plants.

The animals will have come to accept that rock as one of the defining features of their world. Similarly, the plants that grew around the rock will have always have had the rock to grow around, under, or on.
In both cases it had ‘always’ been there.

The animals will now have a battle over the new territory as the territorial boundaries created by the faces of the rock have disappeared. If they don’t stay and fight to protect what they deem as theirs, they will move out looking for new homes, and new protection from predators, thus causing a temporary imbalance in territorial boundaries much further afield.
The plants will have their own territorial battle, albeit a lot slower. They will now battle over space for the nutrients in the newly exposed silt, and over access to sunlight that was previously unavailable to all.

All of this clearly demonstrates that :
1) Defining features of an environment have a direct affect on all things within that environment.
2) That a change to that feature causes disturbance to life of all forms, that often results in conflict through new pressures of survival and power balance.
3) That the apparent individual nature of ‘things’ is in fact an illusion, as a change in one ‘thing’ causes a ripple effect in other ‘things’.

The change in a ‘thing’ doesn’t even have to be of the physical world.
A loud sneeze in a quiet office can often cause humourous comments from others (I just witnessed this 5 minutes ago!)  This in turn can have a ripple affect across the office as others hear the comments and laugh, join in, or simply look up distracted by the commotion.

A sudden stimulus of light, sound, vibration, influx of people / animals, materialisation, or de-materialisation of an object(s) also causes the ‘meerkat affect’ in people and animals.

To veer off the subject for a moment; it is accepted within the scientific world of the physicists, that matter and energy are simply different aspects of the same universal property.  A corollary would be that water can exist as ice, liquid, or gas, but each state has different properties, but is made from the same thing.

Going back to what I’ve written above, it is becoming clear to me that there is a universal tendency inherent in all things to settle into a state of low energy when all things in the immediate environment are in equilibrium (whether a balanced, or unbalanced equilibrium).
When there is sudden change to the quantity of matter or energy within that environment (remember that they are the same thing), disturbance must occur whilst a new equilibrium is established.
Because we humans are made of the universe, we also follow this pattern as it is just as inherent in out makeup, at the deepest level… hence the likes of what was seen after the breakdown of Yugoslavia.

Is the European Union next?

Find that place inside of you

Find that place inside of you
that exists aside from words and facts,
that has no alliance with letters and numbers.
It sees only shapes and colours,
sounds and smells, rough and smooth, heat and cold, old and new.

When walking through the cities,
divert your eyes from the neon signs and the billboards,
all designed to take advantage of a life’s habit
of searching for information offered all around.

Look instead to the shapes of the clouds, and the paths of the flights of the pigeons,
the way that raindrops gather on the canopies of the burger vans,
and the rivulets that run downhill to the drains in the road’s gutters.
Look instead to the creeping ice crystals on the cold bus windows,
or to the spiders in the morning weaving a new web, or the mist rising from the river’s surface.

All these things and so much more,
point to an awareness that offers far more
than the ‘in your face’ information that is pushed in your way.
When your soul harmonises with the real world,
that place inside of you will blend seamlessly with the world.

Everyday I die a little more

Everyday I die a little more
my spirit suppressed, feeling it is lying prostrate on the floor,
helpless to prevent the ever-present, spirit slaying routine,
of get up, drive to work,
sit in the office, drive home, sleep,
get up, drive to work…

I know I must break this cycle,
this circle of spiritual death.
The endless circuits driven by the all consuming, screaming vortex of civilisation,
slowly pulling me to a predetermined doom,
the slippery downward slope with barely a handhold, tiring my soul,
effortlessly thwarting my attempts of escape.

…until recently, when I discovered the voice of my heart.
I know now that I was born with it, and that modern life hid it,
and that we’ve spent too long apart.
It’s strength is growing, it’s voice becoming ever louder,
and it’s power is now starting to rival the pull of the vortex.
I can’t yet climb away from the darkness of that spinning abyss,
But I am now finding footholds that resist the descent to spiritual oblivion.

I have caught a glimpse of the lifeline being thrown my way.
It is still out of reach, and out of focus,
but I know now that it is there.
I’m searching for more footholds to help me climb to it,
to defeat the inexorable pull of cultural expectation.
I desperately hope that I can reach it before I’m too old… before it’s too late.

I look around, and see others caught in the pull,
slowly travelling down the slope of oblivion.
Most are utterly unaware… as I was.
Are you one of them…?

I wonder if one day I will be the one at the other end of the lifeline,
lowering the rope of life to those who notice it.
Maybe we will meet one day… but first I have to escape to the bright lights above,
and to breathe the fresh air of future dreams,
and of those that will already have come true.

I am the moment that separates night from day.
I am the impetus behind your thoughts.
I am your pain and your pride,
your empathy and your selfishness.
I am the beauty of the sunset,
and the reflection of the full moon on the ocean.
I am the freedom of the Eagle soaring high,
and the map for the swallows on their migrations.
I am the beat of a butterfly’s wings,
and the rhythm of the tides.
I am the stillness of the morning mist,
and the anger of the storm.
I am the place where the marathon runner goes,
and the stars in the midst of their death throes.
I am the moment of conception,
and the glue between life and death.
I am what makes the trees blossom in spring,
and why the flowers turn their heads to the sun.
I am the bringer of decay,
and the giver of life.
I am the moment of now,
and yet I fill all of time.
I am everything, yet I am no-thing.
I am everything… and you…
…are me.

Internal conflict, and regular frustration at the path of one’s life comes from the inherent, unconscious knowledge that one is not doing what they truly wish to do with their life.
The inner person that came into being at their conception (many call this the soul) has many many layers of cultural indoctrination and rules of behaviour that have been imposed at the semi-conscious level of that person throughout their childhood and young adulthood.
The conflict, or inner battle is a result of people you held in trust, telling you what you should and shouldn’t do in life battling with the inner person screaming loudly “LET ME OUT!  I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!”

Those who, like me, search for ‘spiritual realisation’ (a term coined by Bruce Lee) eventually reach a point where all those false ideals begin to lose their power and the real person starts to shine brightly through the developing cracks in the mask.
This is the creative heart of the person that has a direct link to the creative part of the nature of the universe.
This is the heart that when noticed at a conscious level brings about a strong emotional response that the person cannot explain – the closest adjective is ‘euphoria’. It gives a high that no drug can match, and is instantly addictive.

For those that understand  what it is that has been experienced, they will spend the rest of their lives searching for methods to experience it again and again. And they will find that the only way to do so, is the travel inward; to be introspective, and to learn to understand themselves first in order that they can learn to understand the external world.

For those who have learned of the Eastern mystics claims of inner peace, spiritual fulfilment, enlightenment, the falling away of the need for material possessions, detachment from the earthly body, etc, they will begin their chase of the same spiritual path as those ancient sages… and this will be something that they will continue to do until their dying day.

Then, one day they will lie on their death bed with a faint detached smile on their face in utter contentment that they have lived their life in the way that they wanted to, not in the way that others told them they should.
They will have no fear of death as they will know it is simply the next step along the path of eternal universal existence.

Their consciousness will fade, but their spirit will stay strong… and eventually the spirit and the body will separate, the body to return to the earth whence it came, and the spirit will once again be re-absorbed into the Great Universal oneness.